Sarah Jo's Story starts long before she was conceived. Long before we ever expected her arrival. She has already been the sweetest surprise and we can't wait to see how she will continue to surprise us throughout her life.
Shortly after entering parenthood with the birth of our precious Abigail, Daddy was already on board to add on to our family. However, Mommy, being the constant planner... wanted everything to fit in with her plans just so. You see, I always envisioned that my children would be the optimal 2-2.5 years apart, so I waited until the appropriate timing came around in the summer of 2010. It didn't take long to get pregnant and we celebrated right away! We were so excited about our new baby, and the timing was perfect (in Mommy's eyes). Shortly after announcing to close friends and family our good news we began discussing baby names. Sarah Jo's name was at the top of the list. Daddy loved the name Sarah... Mommy loved the name Jo.... we both loved the biblical and familial ties and so we were set. We went back and forth on names for a boy, but our mind was made up on Sarah Jo for a girl.
However God was beginning to move mountains in my heart, and show me that life does not always go as planned. To not rely on plans but instead to rely on Him. At 8 weeks pregnant, the day before my 29th birthday, our little angel left us and went back home to heaven.
It hit me like a rock. I grieved harder than I would have ever expected. I had already invested myself into this little life and the loss was terribly hard on me. I became determined to mend my broken heart with another pregnancy, and became obsessed with getting pregnant once again. The months went on, and I felt more and more discouraged when once again I was faced with the reality that it was not happening in my timing.
God used this time to mold me and strengthen me. He showed me that I could not heal myself, but that I needed to lean on Him. Trust in Him. And trust in His plans, His timing, not my own. It was during this time that he turned my heart to the plight of the orphan. Particularly those in Ethiopia. Here I was bemoaning and grumbling about wanting a baby, when there were children desperate to be loved, waiting for a family. I realized that I needed to look beyond myself and after several months of soul searching and healing, we began our adoption journey in August of 2011. It was never intended as a replacement for our lost pregnancy, nor an alternative to continue trying. But once God placed this journey on our hearts there was no turning back. I had made a complete 180 degree turn.... from thinking my life would never be complete without another pregnancy... to accepting and being content with never birthing another child if it was God's will.
A few months into the adoption process, something shocking happened. This is how we got the surprise of our life when we learned we were unexpectedly pregnant again!
Early in December of 2011, we were putting our finishing touches on our adoption dossier to Ethiopia. I had not been feeling well, but stomach bugs were rampant at the time so I thought nothing of it. As I prepared to go out of town to see my mom's school Christmas program, I stopped to think about when my last period was. I had not been charting obviously since we had been preventing pregnancy since our adoption began. I honestly could not remember my last cycle (and still cannot to this day, which is why SJ's due date is a bit of a mystery!) but I knew my cycle's to be irregular anyway. It was a late Tuesday night, and Abigail was already in bed. I went up to the store to get a few Christmas items and picked up a pregnancy test while I was out. Curiosity got the best of me and I took a pregnancy test right at the store. Shock. Shock! A positive test?! How could this be? I took another test.... Deep breaths... this was real.
I went home and spread the shock to Daddy. We both sat in a state of shock for a while. We were happy, but we were confused, and most of all we were nervous. We didn't want to attach ourselves to idea of a pregnancy so soon like we did previously. We guarded our hearts, and kept our news a secret, for many weeks. Just in case this pregnancy would be short lived as well.
The month of December was very difficult for me. I didn't feel well, and I had this burning secret inside me! We did not even tell our families which was very difficult over the Christmas holidays! I was also constantly nervous of every little ache or pain, fearing that this surprise would end too soon. It did not start to sink in until we had our first sonogram on January 4th and saw that everything looked healthy. Still I did not tell my mother until Abigail's birthday party in mid January and we finally spread the news to everyone after I reached 14 weeks.
We cannot possibly know how or why things happen the way they do. However, I feel like once I finally let go of the control that I felt I so desperately needed, and listened to God's word and leaned on his truths, when I finally learned to be content in all things, that is when God gave me you. For so many reasons His timing has been perfect. He has taught me to trust Him, He has given me the opportunity to grow, to be content in all things, to let go of fear and doubt, and along with all of that He brought adoption into our lives. Without His perfect timing, we would not be anticipating the arrival of our THIRD precious child through adoption!
We anxiously waited for our 20 week sonogram to find out the gender. Both Daddy and I secretly wished for a girl, but didn't dare say it out loud. Big sister Abigail however had no qualms about telling the world she was having a baby sister! Oh we were so nervous she would be disappointed if she were wrong.
Of course, we knew what our baby girl's name would be if she were a girl. That was already set in stone.
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